Too Late

I come and I go fall in love 12 times a day
When you experience is not your circumstance
Mindful awareness here and there will full intention from the context of you

six hours spilt zenica, there is a part I used to call the good part like this along a reservoir...five minutes in six hours and never did those word not come, "the good part." Best when you can see like here there is only you

 Those are the states we are disposed and all else taught
Both strategies and tautologies

 "Peace, Land and Bread"
Eight marched out on the 23rd of February
In certain places they still keep time that way as well

2:39 --> 2:42

Sara sleeping, mommy and daddy go to eat lunch with grandma and grandpa for the first time in a long time, and hope Sara will sleep So Grandpa won't say to leave Sara crying, "it's good for the lungs."

You know we are kind of late

12-21-2012

The world changed ended yet they are still here
What they have they used what we have we abused

Funny how they knew the world would end yet they are still here
Worlds change fast after building for billions of years

We made it as far as they had imagine and take them with us
I type because I can they counted because they could

We have more
But they had more value from less

The sun comes up in a new position almost all the time
Almost except those solstices

Did you ever watch the sun stop
It does you have to only watch longer

It will stop one final time but appears to stop twice a year
Depending where you stand and what you preceive

The world ended and started again
Not a mystery the mystery

I'm glad your so sure the world hasn't ended
All I really know is mine

They were right it ended and starts again a new reality
and on a white Christmas snow falls

Like anything else a tautology of mine

4 Each Other

So i took this yoga class not completely randomly
But really only i know why and I feel no need to share this information
This teacher asked this question as i up dogged and warrior threed

"What is your greatest fear." and so this answer appeared
From no where just waiting the question asked
Seriously no one has ever asked this question and so I answered

twelve seconds in sixty minutes of motion and this realization
Yea  I heard that i knew what I had never known
It's this way we are for each other

So yea I went to another class and it happened again
Not nearly as deep but equally revelatory
"Grab your least favorite wrist." And so i did

I did not know that answer
Right handed did not find the right wrist bias surprising
Just that no one had ever asked me and that I knew

twelve seconds in sixty minutes again
We all seek patterns and sometimes we find them

Volunteer

Been lucky enough to be a volunteer all my life.  Really been blessed to find things to do.  People underestimate the importance of opportunity to match your intentions.  Some stories.

Did we really deliver forty cows in Bosnia that afternoon.  I always traveled the main roads to the big cities.  That day we went places I am fairly certain don't exisit

We met these people and looked at the most amazing diversity of strategies to house their new hope.  Each asked us to coffee in their turn.  In Bosnia there is never a real good reason to not drink coffee.  It is never easy to depart. 

But we had thirty five more cows to give away.  We left with little explanation needed and the understanding that the calf born in the spring would be their neighbor's hope.  It was the only compliment I ever received on the Balkans.  They let us leave upon our business.

There is a video of it all somewhere and yet I hardly believe it myself.  One household didn't offer coffee and we took offense.  It was a fumier story. 

Could you find yourself ever on the Balkans not offered coffee?  The last mile down the road or  up the mountain the world actually does change.

Disposition

The state of being disposed
All that we enter with neither place to defend just different ways
First thing I do with any baby is look right at em
You like new people or you do not like new people

The only question you get straight answer from a baby

Those are the states we are disposed and all else taught
Both strategies and tautologies
Some basic function to master the key being sleep
What I taught my children first

Children who sleep can be forgiven many things
They learn better
Better disposed which ever way they wonder out
Our responsibility?

A place to start
Like a mirror left right right left
Stop see clock-wise is clock-wise
Multiple paths and a single goal: sustainability

12 Times a Day

You come and you go but you know who you are
Not always there the most you are able and with training
Just there and be and answer

I come and I go fall in love 12 times a day
When you experience is not your circumstance
Mindful awareness here and there will full intention from the context of you

A more perfect fall I have never witnessed
What colour you like I find upon my window pane
The world or how north america's migratory birds view it: pass

Geography of these 24 hours I fall in love 4 times a day just in dream
Recollection of reality harsh words mended in a glance all that you ever needed
Words spoken words taken used not personal interpersonal no side

Family, friends, children, allons, jarons and 12 but an average today still early
Here and there the other appear joined my side just for us to see
We pass more people in the day than we will ever know well

14 years

There is good research on happiness almost quantified
We assume circumstance must have importance and find almost none
Who you are and what you decide is important to do 90%

I remember Pat
And I find this understanding that circumstance is nothing

Being

Things come full circle because of efficiency
It is easiest

I had this theory when I was younger that you could be and not do
I thought that I had no motivation
I could not understand the process to implement

Now I find here this theory that you should be not do
There is no other motivation
You could not succeed in implementing the process alone

I I I
Now there you

Not Knowing

This is the norm as illusion dissipates
Not knowing the future I compost not in any practical way
My life enhanced but not balanced on my results

There is nothing I have to do and very little that I know
Find much to do and ways to fill this now
Some pictures don't show themselves till they stop showing themselves

They end and as her chanting silence follow see hear point
Discern a path but don't believe your faculties
They will fail you are human or that something in you I write to

Normalization of the absurd I would not call it
In house or up a tree I would not create it
Not knowing not the problem not writing not the answer either

And so this starts to flow this last month of summer
Between Chicago and New York, but for how long?
Now for sure not knowing and finding that ok

My garden struggles in this heat with no hope in sight
My luck better balanced on my results each moment
No one has the answer not knowing we all do

She Walked Out the Door

She walk out the door with this look in her I
Leaving so much behind taking so little traveling light

That was not a favor
Getting most of the stuff from 15 years of marriage with me

There is no spoils there

She walked out the door

She walked out the door
15 years and somehow there is less to grieve

No book yet written just some prose
Couple short stories

I felt worse after one bad date
I can't say i haven't given my all

Sure I break down and it is part of a process
She walked out the door

Those time my pain was so great because of these small opportunities to create new universes
The heart reacts to small things in large ways

15 years with not witness
Thrown to wolves from lake county

My lawyer has some office
I have a lawyer

Three civil actions I have handled in the last two years without one
I am two and one

I have three sisters
They have a cool niece and nephew

I have a lawyer
The door closed behind her

No more waves upon our shore
She left seeking something

I hope she finds what we never lost

Primates

Do you know that paradigm fails?
Like the weather really they change
What do you think of the ocean

Where do you go out to sea
Are there mountains along your horizon do you make them move

Scientology

Some world views do not work out

43

Many numbers to keep track
An everyday operation

There is a distance we each cross related
I don't remember what I said
I have no reason for this that I could explain to myself
Who I talk as I walk it mingles through

What are the things we want to do something about

What are the priorities

How can we work with

Where do we start

Vacations from Bosnia

                  AWAY

And here now begins I am alone from you
What can I not live without are these needs in me created
Only people as I saw them strangers in my soul

This is what makes lives here is where I've become this is how I do
How wrong could I survive how bad could I rhyme I would not lose this page
What is your love is it you want to be what is your name

What the color was what that I see the hallow brown once looked
Away I can not stay I walk to only see how I'd spend my time for not reason
I would leave it all it's natural for me this is who I am there is a reason

Don't look into distance see this here now hold less love more
Too much for my mind to hold I need you here I want to be who you say good-bye
So sure you found me so sure you hold me so sure you love me

             OF RETURN

Whatever happens to us I'm going to love you for a long time
Fabrics torn for there to see love is of return all that is saw
In dreams I laugh aloud speak in new languages pain has not left new way funny

I am a simple man this love that I smile why I'll return there are many reasons
I'd make peace would you change this world make it love make it long
I would change this world there are questions to ask not so strange the difference

All that I have mine moves as the water takes us to the river side lays her down upon the grass
Painted in finger sails trails through yellow skies
Air lines the coming of the day those of return I have been displaced

Phrases of clear colors that travel homeward  meaningless waters the sun
Only I would know traced memories in the sand grains through fingers slip
Tides and comes again these steps that I have taken and return and find and know

Of more made less humans in these forms of mountain face thay have returned soulen in these moves
Surfaced in oceans night simple made of complex over plain over same in touch death in touch life
Surfaced of return and I remember it all I need words new I meet words new deep the colors life shallow

the waters still
I meet words new
Reasons to hold this pen
How do those people sound
With new what become

Ocean

I am vast and I am contained in vastness
Storms come and give me new perspectives
The lighting cracks and brings this light to places I never see

Above is warmer lighter
Layers below where light has not come only life everywhere
Comprehend my pieces you call yourself human
We are not so different you and I

What you call human is mostly made from non human pieces
Simple math more them then me or you
Storms come and give me new pespectives
Down below you would not comprehend the tale

Your an aquatic ape and stuck mostly to the shore and surface
I thought you were cute I routed for you
Sustainable development is about saving you not me

Fifteen Years

There are simple rules to life for me
If you see me doing something for fifteen years means want to keep doing it
Life is short yet eternal

They Pay for the Coffee

So maybe it was the end, at least I was a vegan and had lost 30 pounds.  Would not want to deal with this and that.
"How are you going to be a vegan in Sarajevo?!?", She demanded for some reason, I never said anything about living in Sarajevo, did she know something? Was this the plan?
"It will be a business and it will be cool vegan stuff and people come and drink coffee and they stay and maybe we talk about the war and maybe we talk about the future."
She said, "You can't make a life like that how will you pay rent and that's not a life", She demanded again, "why how?"
"They pay for the coffee."

In any case it is another title of a book that is not yet written.

Describe Chocolate

If it is only sweet for you there is so much more even I have no clue the variety.  Sea Salted chocolate for one example has the quality we all share.  This salt traveled so well as to be craved when not found.  You don't want but you want.  Who are you?

Qualities we share are earthen and brown with this magic food.  Something that makes the modern world easier to be in.  I imagine the range and the spear and the antelope and my cousin neanderthal painting those walls that spoke to us of more.  Might rather trod that ancient soil and just  learn those ancient lessons.  Those rituals we have all forgotten.

We know the world is wrong by what the world produces.  We know the goal sustainability.  I have to admit I don't think of that when I bite into the chocolate.  It is not like sitting helpless on the steps looking up to the stars and remembering these same stars you told there could be no possible good future.  Those same stars I no longer tell anything.  They don't want to listen, but chocolate does.

Me you and them were just born here and there was chocolate everywhere around.  There are no people older than this reality.  It's a great reality, but as my wise friend said, "It’s nice to have treats, but if you get them all the time, you don’t appreciate them as much." 


We act as if we know what it means to be awash in a world of unsustainable chocolate.  It is the defining quality of the food stuff and what we all share.  


But there are these miracles all around us.  You can describe anything thus.  You really can if you think about it.


If it is only ______ for you there is so much more even I have no clue the variety. 


I am sure however your being has described something of chocolate to you better than my words could like most thing like love.
I am sure your being has described something of love to you.


People didn't have all the chocolate in the past.  Like say the cocaine today: mostly in the hands of the rich.  Tell the truth out loud and live in the world you create. 


I am sure there has never been anyone older than love

A Rosie Interlude

I found Vanja and the most amazing of occurrences: Rosie, half Bosnian half English living in the south of London.  At only four month she was all the counsel I needed.  I loved living in Florida because I had friends that were completely unrelated to me as a child, but I was still a child.  I guess many people find this same occurrence.  I was visiting a home and what is more a family.  Rosie has this jumping thing I guess you call it hanging from the ceiling.  And she jumps and she is Rosie.    Completely herself.  She learned to roll over shortly before I arrived, but she hadn't quite figured out that she couldn't crawl as her amazingly active lags dug her arms and head into the carpet.  She screamed with frustration.  She knew exactly what she wanted to do, but she couldn't and she didn't know why. As adults we sat around and knew without a doubt that time will bring answers.  We know how to help her.  She's only been doing this human thing for four months.  I've only been doing this human thing for twenty-five years and I still find my head dug into the carpet screaming.  We find frustration in not seeing solution.  There is a solution to life and thanks to Vanja and James and Rosie I found a rosy interlude with cigarettes in the kitchen.

Everyone son.  Everyone daughter.  And in London the circus continues. 

I'd like to go to London and find a cake walk where we all move place to place each with our own to the music as it plays and in a pause stand and find banana chocolate crunch love in her place.  It's first who we find next to us.  Second who we are.  Rosie my new friend at four months.

2:39 --> 2:42

Sara sleeping, mommy and daddy go to eat lunch with grandma and grandpa for the first time in a long time, and hope Sara will sleep So Grandpa won't say to leave Sara crying, "it's good for the lungs."

Lunch finishes with talk of war and escape.  I don't know what I should think, but there doesn't seem to be anywhere to run to...we are together.

When Sara was born she had 1/4 the brain size that she will have as an adult.  For her first birthday she will have 3/4.
Her brain size will triple in one year.  They say the smartest kids are born in war, and I believe them for only in war can you truly make time for your baby.  My Algebra teacher Mr Keegan was right and I always find use for it.

War Kills Slow Too

Here six months ago
Heroic battles of beans
We have this moment

You probably wanted me to be better
It could have been so worse

Funny
And so many moments still here

Eight March

First you found them in certain places
Along the river down in the valley
Atop the ridge sentry to the dawn

"Peace, Land and Bread"
Eight marched out on the 23rd of February
In certain places they still keep time that way as well

And there policies divided and walls thrown up
We celebrate our own holidays
Eight leave everything behind

And here policies divided and walls thrown up
Celebrate each others holidays?
Eight arrive home after a long day

How would a world appear 
Who could have the time?
Eight comfort a love one

We could not live the same way
Can we live this way?
Eight comfort a stranger along the road

We would need to design for sustainability
Could we live a holiday everyday?
Eight smile right now Eight cook Eight kill

Now you are found in every place
Someday we will celebrate each others holidays

Eight marched out and Eight more marched out
Not here a celebration just of February 23rd
But one for everyday

Equality where sustainability begins
Oh that it would come

Deer Valentine

We are a squeezed region in many ways, not least by ourselves.  We have made our own way and there are countless unique realities that ultimately answer the questions to the possibility of sustainability.  Things are developing essentially on their own.  You can see things changing, but who do you write it to? Who cares? We do essentially, but who really does?  All the time I certainly do not, but try here and there.

There are ideas profound and not so much.  There are those in between and those that create categories new.      This is simply an attempt to write stories of this place I started.  Willoughby what a great name.  Euclid, haven't you named at least one of your cities after him.  Great stories of yesterday and questions of today.  We have plenty answers here a simple question:

Look where you look as I look where I look.  Think. We started seeing them in early January.  You don't mistake Deer for anything else and you don't mistake a limp.  A time of year they don't show their sex they moved in shadows.  Each morning they seemed to be along our path a new pleasant passing in the hours we spent together.

These are not things that come along everyday they have many reasons.  The wolf long gone just confined on the west side.  There is this great enclosure in the Zoo, which somehow I always miss.  Usually find myself there more the once a year, but haven't actually seen them there just hear a nice story.  They are no longer employed in our ecosystem which leads to the possibility for a deer to  limp around.

The housing meltdown gives them cover.  They have plenty of empty houses with backyards and countless occupied homes that no longer look their neighbor's way.  We haven't seem them since valentine's day.  I think the leg has healed.  I note how our world has changed.  Inner ring suburbs evolving along with the Deer.

Our ecosystem has new mechanisms that never were.  The wolf took the weak and sick.  The deer lived strong and one certain way.  Now some find hunters luck and others are lost in car headlights.  The function is life and remains the same.  The range has been expanded and this evolution of deer in the inner ring suburbs.

Different deer are left around to do different things.  The impacts cannot be imagined but are another case seeking balance which comes easily or not it is found.  Balance is lost and found everyday.  False quantum wells well named.  The only wolves left around here don't understand their role.

I like to think they were a couple, but I know they are deer and I will never know more than they spent time like no other deer I have observed in the last ten year near me.  There is plenty to eat around here they always pass never stay.

That day we watched them slowly down the street.  A right turn at the end towards a fence.  Perhaps slowed but still deer they leaped higher than necessary as if to say there is no barriers for us.  We went along in our day.  They were the same deer we saw them now numerous times.  There was a limp.

Middle of February and they were gone.  Middle of February and much is gone.  I am sure of healing as I am certain sustainability the answer on a shelf  gathering dust.

between chicago and new york

I was born in a special place, weren't you?  Quick tell me where you are from.  That is how I seemed able to answer peoples questions.  Would always find those who know Cleveland and even Euclid.  This is about place and this is where I am.